mommy4autism

Just another WordPress.com site

Part of Your World

on August 23, 2011

“What would I give to live where you are? What would I pay to stay here, beside you? What would I do to see you smiling at me? Where would we walk? Where would we run, if we could stay all day in the sun? Just you and me, and I could be part of your world…”

In my spare time (haha), I sometimes get paid to play Disney Princesses at little girls’ parties. One of the favorites is, of course, Ariel, the Little Mermaid (though to be honest, I think the adult women love her more than some of the kids)! This is a fun gig; I always wanted to *be* a Disney princess, and getting paid to do it is a super bonus perk.

But today I was singing this part of Ariel’s most popular song (above) to myself, and it brought tears to my eyes. All of the sudden, I began to relate to Ariel’s perspective, and then the tears flowed freely. What would I do to be part of your world – your “normal,” “typically developing,” regular parenting, non-special-education, IEP-free world? What would Alex give someday to see another child smiling at him with no reservations, no confusion, no misunderstanding, ready to run and “stay all day in the sun” with him?

In his book “All I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten,” Robert Fulghum tells a story about Mermaids in a world of Giants, Wizards, and Dwarfs. The story is, of course about playing a game in which a little girl doesn’t believe she fits. Essentially, if the world is made up of Giants, Wizards, and Dwarfs, where do the Mermaids stand? His ultimate answer to the young “Mermaid”was that she got to stand apart, with him, the King of the Sea. That made her feel very special.

Now, that’s a beautiful story and also one I can relate to, because I can see the beauty in my child. I can see how special he is, and that he will stand apart from others throughout his life, probably in some wonderful ways. But standing apart from others can be very lonely, too.

As parents of kids with special needs & differences, we stand apart, too. And we get lonely. Networking with other special needs parents helps greatly, but there are many times that those other families, our “Kings of the Sea” can’t be there, and we have to stand apart all by ourselves, with our children, looking in on other peoples’ worlds.

I’m having to fight the school district a little bit right now to ensure the best education for my son, and that sets me apart. And it often doesn’t feel good. I’m not going at it alone, and I know others will help me, but that doesn’t make the tears go away during the times I sit alone, singing stupid songs about wanting to be a part of another person’s world. It doesn’t always take away the sadness, the mourning I still do for that normal life I thought I’d have…you know, that life with a white picket fence, 2.5 kids, a career, and a clean house?

No, I wouldn’t trade my little Merman for anything. I wouldn’t take any of it back (except maybe for losing my temper once in a while), and I wouldn’t want any other child. But I still long for a more normal life sometimes. I think we all do. That’s all I’m longing for today…just a little part of your world.

❤ Kristi

Advertisements

2 responses to “Part of Your World

  1. Mary Bradford says:

    Thanks you for your lovely posting. I was at home having one of “those” day at home that challenge every part of your parenting skills. I was feeling “overwhelmed” and sat down at the computer to “de stress” a little-while little one watch a movie. I opened you email, and read your lovely story-and tears began to flow. Thank you for helping me to remember to celebrate even in those challenging time we face as a parents.

  2. Kristi,

    You amaze me! Thank you for what you do on a daily basis! I had a story typed to explain why I say Thank you! However, Just know this you are not just fighting for Your little boy but all little boys and girls with IEP’s! They might be different however there hearts are all the same! Tell Alex that we love him and Andrew misses playing with him and his cars! When Andrew see’s the pictures of Alex, he calls out that’s my friend has lots of cars! He’s nice! How do kids remember after only a couple of visits! Thank up for being you and Thank Alex for being him!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: